Providence...

Do you believe in providence? I do. Recently, it has been a struggle
trying to figure out what I should do in my life, I am reminded time
and time again the God has a good plan for me. And that plan is better
than I could ever make for myself.

All this past week I have been struggling with the idea that I might
never make as much money as my peers. Deciding to go into ministry is
a decision that will change the way you see your future and financial
outlook. Wrestling with God over my future has been exhausting. I did
not want to let Him take control.

Last night, my roommate, Dave, read a story to me. I don't think he
even knows how much I have been agonizing about how much control I
have needed over this topic. Being a college drop out means I cannot
identify my self worth with a college or university. My greatest
acoplishment in my recent life has been my career's success. My
identity and self worth are tied up directly with how well I have done
financially. Giving up all that for God pretty much means I no longer
feel like I know who I am.

Anyways, so unbeknownst to him, I have been trying to figure out how
to trust in God over my identity. How can I trust God with how I
identify myself if I cannot trust Him with my financial future?

But as he read his book last night he decided to share a particularly
interesting story to me. I don't remember the name of the book he was
reading, nor do I remember the author, but when I do I will add that
into this post.

The author was talking about how he and a friend were trying to get an
internship with Mother Teresa in Calcutta. After writing her inquiring
if they could join her, they waited for a response. After some time,
with no response, they began to think they would not get a response,
so they started to call to see if they could make headway by phone.
After a long and complicated process, they finally got to talk to the
Mother Superior of the Bronx. After explaining to her that they had
written a letter and had been trying to call to see if they could get
in, this nun told them she would give them the number for the mission
in Calcutta if they promised bot to give it away.

Calculating the time difference, they realized they would need to call
at 2am and it would cost them $4/minute. Waiting til 2, they called
with fingers crossed they called. This is what that phone conversation
looked like (I'm paraphrasing from memory here)

"Hello, this is ____ from the United States calling for ___ mission,
I'm looking for Mother Teresa"
"This is ____ mission, this is Mother Teresa."
"My friend and I were hoping to intern with you in Calcutta and help
you there."
"How long were you thinking of coming for?"
"For the summer. So, 2-3 months?"
"2-3 months. That's a long time."
"Or 2-3 weeks... Or 2-3 days even..."
"No. Come for the summer. Come."
"Where will we live? What should we bring?"
"God takes care of the lilies and the sparrow, He will take care of
you. Come"

As my roommate read that last line last night, I had tears coming to
my eyes, because it was so comforting to hear that God really will
take care of us. God takes care of the lilies and the sparrow. He will
take care of me. Come.

Even now, as I sit in Chinatown writing my thoughts, I am tearing up
from the reminder that God will take care of me. Haha, thank God I
have my sunglasses on.

He will take care of you. Come.