Ranting and Raving.... Questions of my soul

The most difficult part about relationships, when you are not in relationships is finding a way to start said relationship with the right person.  I find that this is especially difficult coming from a Christian perspective.  How does one approach finding a relationship that edifies God's name?  Some have told me to just pray about it, and God will give me someone that is right for me.  Some have said, "If you just let it go, then God will bless you."  These sayings are just as vague and unhelpful as, "When you find the right person, you'll know."  It means nothing to the person looking.

The difficulty I find is in the searching.  How does one 29 year old guy begin his search?  If I'm looking for a soulmate that will not only be my friend, my wife, and my partner; but also someone that would be willing to minister with me, to pray with me, to help me make the hard decisions for God, where do I start looking?

One option begins at church.  But, I feel like such a sleeze bag going to church with the intention of "hooking up"  When I walk into God's house, I don't want to be thinking of potential girlfriends.  I want to go to worship God.  Is the house of the Lord also a hook-up joint?  I think not.  At least, I don't want to think of it like that.  I'm sure many a great person has found their mates within the walls of the church, and of course that option is still there for me, but I don't believe it's a place I should be intentionally searching out girlfriends.

So that brings me to my only other venue where I hang out with non-married friends.  Work.  Which brings me to a whole different ethical dilemma.  Can I in good conscience date someone at work and take the risk of damaging my work relationships for the sake of an attempt at finding "the one"?  I cannot.  This is the same problem with the whole, "Oh I'll date a friend of a friend" mentality.  You tell yourself it won't be awkward if you decide not to further pursue the relationship after a few dates, because you aren't putting your all into it.  But, in reality, everything for me is awkward.  Other people get involved, people's hearts are on the line, and suddenly... you find yourself wondering why you got into that situation to begin with. 

I've been told that I can't worry about this, and that God will take care of it in the end.  But I feel like that's such a lazy way of approaching anything.  "Lord, I know you have the right girl out there for me, so I'm just going to wait on you." sounds way too close to... "God, I know I haven't studied for this test, in fact I didn't even open my book, but Lord, I know you have a greater plan for me, and I need to pass this test to move on to the next level.  So God, help me pass this test."   I know it's not exactly the same, but it's the truth of the matter.  I know God will bless me.  I know He has a plan for me.  But, I cannot believe that means He wants me to sit in my room all day and wait for a girl to come waltzing into my life. 

I guess I'm just frustrated.  I don't know how to go about this.  What do I do?  How to I pray about this?  Should I wait?  Should I pursue?  Are blind dates even worth it?  Why do I get so socially awkward around new people?  Should I act more my age?  Can I be satisfied with just being single?  Is that God's calling on my life?  What if I want kids?  What if?.... How?.....  When?

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