random thoughts of the day...

Sometimes it's hard to imagine. Sometimes it's a difficult thing to grasp. And, when I look into the eyes of those around me, it's hard to forget. There are those around us that desperately need a hand, desperately need a hug, and desperately need love.

As I come back from the CCDA conference, I am once again convinced that the lost and forgotten in society are in need for our love. There are injustices and inequalities that scream for attention. Families are being torn apart by outdated immigration laws; the poor are being pushed out of their homes, so that CEOs of companies can have a second private jet; racism continues to ravage communities; and the people in the gap are doing their best to hold up a crumbling society.

But, what breaks my heart is watching it happen and feeling like nobody else cares. At CSM, I watch groups come in from the suburbs, with their guitars, handbooks, and team t-shirts. They are ready to change the world. They are coming for a week trip, that they have been looking forward to for months. And, GREAT! But is it? After they leave, aren't the children going to be hungry tomorrow? What is the impact to the community as a large?

Can community change happen in a short-term system? Can it even begin to change the hearts of the lost and point the wanderer towards the almighty Lord? Are people going home with changed attitudes towards the outcast of society? the lonely? the excess spending? the lavish lifestyles?

For the most part, I would say, "No." There was one group leader that openly told his kids that God did not bless the poor as much as the rich because He gave the rich more. And that simple statement continues to break my heart.

So, then, what is the point of something like CSM? Is what I do important to the heart of God? Is a short-term mission trip only designed for helping the group feel better about their lives? To pat themselves on the back and go back to lavish lifestyles?

And the simple answer to that question is: there is no simple answer. Can we really say that nobody is affected? There must be some that are changed. Most come on the trip, and in a few weeks time forget the lessons learned, some remember and act out to help those around them, and a select few are changed forever. God takes their hearts and breaks them. And in my case, forever am I set on a course that will never allow me to see the world any other way. Broken, and in need of love.

And if that's what we do, then we do it for the glory of the Lord. I have it written on my wall in my office, "讨神喜悦的事奉" (which roughly means, "I serve at the pleasure of my Lord") It reminds me that even though some group leaders make a blunder of the mission of my Father, I will continue to serve as long as it pleases my God.

It still breaks my heart. It still makes me want to call out to God for his mercy. But, it's something.

and... with enough little somethings put together, we can re-build the kingdom. We can restore the streets with dwellings.