All Better!! Kinda...

Just wanted to give a quick update on my situation.  My group went home on Thursday, and yesterday, I got to spend the day going to Pastor Lo's memorial service then Good Friday service in Arcadia.

My shoulder is MUCH better now, and doesn't hurt nearly as much.  In fact, it only hurts when I do certain motions, like turn my steering wheel and lift real heavy objects.  Thanks for the prayers!!  It's been a real blessing to know that so many people have been praying for me.

Today, I wasn't feeling too well (I'm already feeling better), but one of the side effects of being stuck in bed all day is finding time to think & process.  I've been processing a lot about Pastor Lo's memorial service.  John gave an interesting message/challenge to us about pouring out our lives for God.  Mostly, I took home the fact that when we pour out our lives, it does not involve boundaries and borders, but means we give our all.  Many times, I think I reserve my energy trying to save some for the next day, week, or month.  I try to figure out how to do something with the least amount of energy possible, so that I don't "burn out".  But... God calls us to give our all to Him doesn't He?  Our all doesn't involve borders, boundaries, reservations or withholding our energy.  In fact, He promises that when we are pouring out everything and we are weak, HE will be our strength.  Isn't that an amazing promise?

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Ouch...

Ok, so quick blog, cause I have about 30 minutes to get ready, set up my day of hosting and... and... I don't know what else... 

Quick Prayer items tho:

Last night, I was goofing around and I was trying to demonstrate my "Action Movie Jump" to some Junior Highers (why is it always with jr highers...?)  And I landed on my shoulder funny.  I think I heard something pop... but am unsure.  I stood up and smiled real big... but for a few seconds had the wind knocked out of me and couldn't talk.  Also... this morning I could barely move my arm...  It gets easier the more I move it... so I don't THINK it was broken or dislocated.  I am hoping it is just a bad bruise.... So... Please pray for my stupidity.

Also, I'm super busy this week, and it's getting busier.  I am trying to set aside time for myself, but that has been... well, difficult.  Pray that I might find peace.

I don't know how to feel about Pastor Lo passing away.  He was such a great influencer in my life, and really cared about me and my family.  I could go into stories about what he has done, but as I said earlier... time crunch.  Let's just say this: his life had shaped many things about how I perceive the world today.  His memorial service is this Friday, please pray that I can catch up in my work enough to go.

THANKS!!!  Love you all lots.  I'll post more later, but need to get going.

You stay classy San Diego!!     

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Ranting and Raving.... Questions of my soul

The most difficult part about relationships, when you are not in relationships is finding a way to start said relationship with the right person.  I find that this is especially difficult coming from a Christian perspective.  How does one approach finding a relationship that edifies God's name?  Some have told me to just pray about it, and God will give me someone that is right for me.  Some have said, "If you just let it go, then God will bless you."  These sayings are just as vague and unhelpful as, "When you find the right person, you'll know."  It means nothing to the person looking.

The difficulty I find is in the searching.  How does one 29 year old guy begin his search?  If I'm looking for a soulmate that will not only be my friend, my wife, and my partner; but also someone that would be willing to minister with me, to pray with me, to help me make the hard decisions for God, where do I start looking?

One option begins at church.  But, I feel like such a sleeze bag going to church with the intention of "hooking up"  When I walk into God's house, I don't want to be thinking of potential girlfriends.  I want to go to worship God.  Is the house of the Lord also a hook-up joint?  I think not.  At least, I don't want to think of it like that.  I'm sure many a great person has found their mates within the walls of the church, and of course that option is still there for me, but I don't believe it's a place I should be intentionally searching out girlfriends.

So that brings me to my only other venue where I hang out with non-married friends.  Work.  Which brings me to a whole different ethical dilemma.  Can I in good conscience date someone at work and take the risk of damaging my work relationships for the sake of an attempt at finding "the one"?  I cannot.  This is the same problem with the whole, "Oh I'll date a friend of a friend" mentality.  You tell yourself it won't be awkward if you decide not to further pursue the relationship after a few dates, because you aren't putting your all into it.  But, in reality, everything for me is awkward.  Other people get involved, people's hearts are on the line, and suddenly... you find yourself wondering why you got into that situation to begin with. 

I've been told that I can't worry about this, and that God will take care of it in the end.  But I feel like that's such a lazy way of approaching anything.  "Lord, I know you have the right girl out there for me, so I'm just going to wait on you." sounds way too close to... "God, I know I haven't studied for this test, in fact I didn't even open my book, but Lord, I know you have a greater plan for me, and I need to pass this test to move on to the next level.  So God, help me pass this test."   I know it's not exactly the same, but it's the truth of the matter.  I know God will bless me.  I know He has a plan for me.  But, I cannot believe that means He wants me to sit in my room all day and wait for a girl to come waltzing into my life. 

I guess I'm just frustrated.  I don't know how to go about this.  What do I do?  How to I pray about this?  Should I wait?  Should I pursue?  Are blind dates even worth it?  Why do I get so socially awkward around new people?  Should I act more my age?  Can I be satisfied with just being single?  Is that God's calling on my life?  What if I want kids?  What if?.... How?.....  When?

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Sir, do you have any change?

As I sit down I feel like I finally can breathe a sigh of relief. I'm actually blogging again! The world is not coming down around me, and life as I know it will continue.

These last few months have been a wonderful, chaotic, jump into the deep end of ministry experience. Not only have I fallen deeply in love with the work I do, but I have found a deeper understanding of who I am, and what God has called me to be.

In the last few months, God has been teaching me tons about faithfulness and call to ministry. When you find your call, wild dogs couldn't tear you away from the simple satisfaction of waking up each morning and knowing that your life is valued and is important. And nobody has taught me that more about how God's hand can make a difference than a small fellowship group from Torrance called, "Victory Fellowship"

V-Life came out to serve with us earlier this year, and I was assigned to host them. I was excited, because I hadn't hosting in a few weeks, and I was chomping at the bit to get back into some of our ministry sites. Now, when a group shows up for their first night, as a host, it's difficult to tell what kind of group they will be. A multitude of questions run through your mind. Are they big eaters? Will they talk a lot during debriefs? Are they more "active"? Will they care about what you have to say? and the one question that has a deep repeating cry in my soul is: Will they take home the love, compassion, and passion they learn this week to their friends, family, and forgotten in their world??

The weekend quickly ended with this group, and I came to really enjoy my time with them. I loved hanging out with the leaders & students, and at one point even got to draw on some of their faces with magic marker. That being said, Sunday came around, and they went home... and life continued... kinda. A few days later, I started hearing back from the group about changes. Changes in lifestyle, in attitude, and in perception of the world. One of the students was spending time with a family member that nobody had talked to in a long time, because she didn't want her to be alone; another decided to do an extensive report on homelessness, and what can be done to love the people more. And I gradually began to realize that GOD, had placed seeds in their hearts to begin to love the lost, love the hopeless, and love the forgotten in ways I never could understand.

Isaiah 26:8 reads, "Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts." We wait for YOU. YOUR name and renown are the desire of our hearts. I realized that there was nothing speical that I did in this group, but God worked something deeper, and really His name was glorified because of it. His renown echos in my heart because of the testimonies I hear.

I leave you with this poem, that someone from that trip wrote. I think it nicely sums up their trip.

The Forgotten

By Brittany J. Masai

The days are lonely and the nights are cold
This life I’m living is getting old

The streets are my only comfort and where I lay
Deliver me from this nightmare is what I pray
People look down on me for how I appear
It hurts to know that I am someone that they fear
I am a person, an individual, and have feelings too
Can’t you see I was once like you?
I had dreams, goals, and lived life to the fullest each day
Until everything went down the drain and I couldn’t find my way
This life has made me realize how cold hearted people can be
Many choose to just walk away and ignore me
They act like I am invisible and that I’m not there
Bless those who take the time to show that they care
I wish people would understand that it’s not all about material things
and money

Having God in your life is most important and going to the place that
overflows with milk and honey
Bless those who are poor on earth
For God loves them and knows how much they are worth